Who We Become

"Who we are is not who we become."

- Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

Yesterday, in an early church meeting, a member made a statement that "trials are for our own good." I have thought a lot about that since yesterday and it has made me think a lot about my trials, past and present, and what I have gained from those trials. Another way of looking at it is going through the "refiner's fire".

I use to hate that phrase, refiner's fire. What does that even mean? I came to understand it after Jon and I experienced 3 rounds of failed IVF. At first, I truly thought I was being punished or that I was damaged. I thought that we were being cursed for something that we did in our past. I became very bitter and dark. I thought the life I had dreamed about was over. However, it took me a while, after that experience,to realize that Heavenly Father was strengthening me through that trial. He was molding me me into the person that I am today.

I wasn't being punished or cursed. I wasn't forgotten or unloved. I learned to realize that Heavenly Father happened to have a different plan for me. He was making me stronger and giving me different experiences so I could grow and progress. It wasn't fun by any means, but it was what had to be done. I was truly going through the "refiner's fire". He had a plan set in motion and He obviously had other things in mind for me to learn and accomplish.

One of the things I have learned through this specific trial is this: It is a part of me but it did not define me.

So often I find myself going through little things and think: This is it. This is my life. But that isn't the case. The fact that I have been unable to have my own children will always be a part of my life but it isn't who I am. It doesn't define me as a person. It is just one of the trials I have had to and still overcome in my life. I still had to choose for myself what I wanted my life to be like despite my trials. However, it doesn't make those trials easier.

Lately I have watched several of my friends and family go through different trials in their lives that have been sad and heartbreaking. If I could tell them one thing to get them through the rough times, it would be this: It is a part of you, but it does not define you.

Heavenly Father wants us to grow and progress. He will continue to mold us until we are who he wants us to be. I truly believe that he will always be with us every step of the way. He will continue to show us that who we are today is not we are to become. I know that this particular trial will always be a struggle for me, but I know with Heavenly Father and the Savior, I can get through it and that it is for my own good.