Opinions Are Like Armpits

"Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them and some of them stink."

Everyone has armpits and everyone has opinions. Sometimes they smell really good and sometimes......they really stink. 

Recently, I posted on Facebook about how I was disgusted by how athletes have decided to not stand for the national anthem to make a statement about racism or that the flag no longer stands for the liberties it used to. Well, that is there opinion and definitely their constitutional right. However, it is my right and opinion to disagree with them. Not disagree with their belief, mind you, but disagree with their actions.

In this post, which I ended up deleting and wish I hadn't, I never made mention that I disagreed with their beliefs or that they were wrong....just their actions. I agree that their beliefs have some merit, but not the actions. I feel the actions are completely ineffective. Again.....that is my opinion.

Why did I delete this post you ask? Well, the comments became pretty heated and I don't like to be an instigator of confrontation. However, I am quickly learning that is how the world works when you post your opinion on social media. And there was quite a bit of backlash among commentators. 

However, what I can't stand about social media and in other settings are the malicious comments such as: "your opinion is wrong" "your opinion is invalid" "you are stupid if you believe this or that" "how can you be so blind" "how can you be so ignorant" "you're out of touch and close minded" I see ALOT of this especially when an opinion is expressed that is against the popular norm.

People......opinions are just that.....OPINIONS. They are neither wrong nor right. It is something that someone thinks which may not necessarily align with someone else. NEWSFLASH.....that is ok!!! There is nothing wrong with having a different opinion or disagreeing with someone else's idealism. We all have different things that we believe in and fight for and there is nothing wrong with that.

So why is it that if I happen to disagree with an athlete not standing for the national anthem and find it disrespectful, that I am the one who is close minded? That is my OPINION! There is nothing wrong with how I feel and I shouldn't have to apologize for that. There are other ways to make a statement without being disrespectful. to our nation.

And the other thing I want to point out is this.......if I had already made a statement on something I feel passionate about, do you really think being rude and ugly is going to change my opinion? I don't mind if you say "well that's you opinion. However, I feel...." That's fine with me. It shows you respect me as a person as well as my mind. But....through life experiences, I have learned to think for myself and make my own opinions based on what I see and read. It is going to take a lot to persuade me to think differently on something I am passionate about. But it isn't going to happen with rude comments.

If I were to go to John Doe down the street and tell him how ugly and how much I hated the flowers he planted and was rude about it, do you think he's going to take them all out and replant because of my opinion? Probably not. He has already made the decision. 

Now let me get a little deeper on this topic. And if you decide to stop reading at this point, no offense taken and God bless.

I have many reasons why I am so passionate about the American flag, our national anthem, and patriotism.

• I have sung that national anthem on several occasions at sporting events as well as at church. The history behind it is humbling.
• I have attended 3 funerals for WWII veterans where Taps has been played, a 3 gun salute, and a flag has been draped over the veteran's coffin. I have watched how tenderly the soldiers at these funerals have folded that flag, handed it to the surviving family members, and humbly thanked them for their loved one's service. It gives me chills just to think about it.
• I have friends and family members who have spent months away from their families so they can do their duty to fight for and protect our freedoms.
• I have ancestors who have fought in the Revolutionary War and Civil War to protect our rights and freedoms that we have today. 

Now let's dig back a little further in history, shall we?

This country was founded by men and women who wanted more freedoms in their lives than what they were able to have in other countries. Freedom of speech, of religion, the right to bare arms, etc. 

Our fore fathers worked and fought tirelessly through blood, sweat, and tears to create a country that would give us all the freedoms we have at this point and take very much for granted. Was our nation perfect then? Of course not! Are we a perfect nation now? No way! Are things going to change over night? Not a chance! But they can change.

Now the main reason patriotism is so important and close to my heart is because of two things........God and Faith.

Our fore fathers were religious men who wanted freedom of religion and could not obtain that while still living under a monarchy. These men put their faith in God that He would protect them and help them create a nation that would allow themselves and their posterity the freedom to practice and believe any religion they wanted. These men had the faith that they were doing the right thing. These men put their faith in God that He would protect their freedoms during time of war. 

Because of these men, the gospel of Jesus Christ would not have been restored. That's right.....I threw some Mormonism in there. If you are offended, feel free to leave any time,

Because of the faith that these men had, the church that I believe in and follow was able to be restored. Because of these men and the thousands upon thousands of men who succeeded them, I now am blessed to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. Because of the countless men and women who have sacrificed their lives for our country, I have the freedom of religion and to believe in whatever God I want to. This freedom above all others is precious to me.

Now we are at a point where we are taking God out of the Pledge of Allegiance, prayers are not allowed in schools, the Ten Commandments can not be displayed outside of court houses, its offensive to say Merry Christmas so we are asked to say Happy Holidays, it's offensive to have In God We Trust on our money, it's a distraction to fly the flag in some neighborhoods, and the list goes on and on. We are coming to a point of becoming a godless country which is so sad and unfortunate since that is what our very country was founded on.

So, if you want to be upset because I stated my opinion about my feelings of athletes or anyone in general not standing for the national anthem and flag, that is fine. I won't be offended. But my opinion is not wrong nor right. It's how I feel and think.

So I will say it again.......I find it very disrespectful to not stand for the national anthem or the flag. I don't care who you are! And the reason I find it so disrespectful is because not only are disrespecting those who have fought for your rights and freedoms, but you are disrespecting my freedoms.

Like I said, "Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has them and some of them stink." And I am going to continue to voice my opinions regardless of how stinky they are.

"If we don't stand for something, we'll fall for anything." - Irene Dunne

Cancer and The Gospel

It has been a little over a year since I have last posted and it has been a crazy year! I have traveled back to California numerous times to visit my mom an dad during my mom's cancer treatments. She had been doing well with treatment until August 2015 when another form of breast cancer was found despite chemo and radiation.

She underwent yet another surgery and started chemo again but at a much more aggressive approach due to the high risk of the 2nd cancer coming back.

I had the opportunity to visit with mom and dad over Thanksgiving 2015 before she started her next round of treatment. We had no idea how taxing this 2nd round would be on her body.

Two months later, our family's world changed forever......

On January 29th, my mother passed away peacefully after a week of being in the hospital due to her body going into septic shock. Her body fought hard, but she had decided she was ready to go. Ready to reunite with her mom and dad and her darling daughter Allison.

My father, siblings, and I had the chance to be with her in that last week, even though she was lucid for only a few days. We were able to talk to her, share stories of her grandson, sit with her, and witness tender moments between her and my father. 

A few days before she passed, we had the opportunity to have a family prayer where each of us said a prayer and thank and plead to Heavenly Father to grant his will and that we would be able to accept it.

She told us she loved us, hugged us as well as she could while hooked up to several monitors, and kept her sense of humor to the end.

The last few days, the Spirit was very strong. I think I knew it was her time yet still struggled, and still do, to accept it.

A night or two before she passed, her bishop came to visit and as he was looking at her, she looked to the side of him and kept staring. My first thought was that there was someone there in the room to see her. Who it was, I have no idea. But there was a visitor ready to take her.

We had a beautiful service for her in California where we had the most amazing support from family and friends. And come this summer, we will prepare to lay her in her final resting spot.

I still can't believe it has already been a month since my mom has graduated from this life and is now an angel watching over me. However, I have learned a lot over the last few weeks or so......

The gospel of Jesus Christ and His love for us is real. Heavenly Father hears our prayers and answers them. Maybe not in the way that we would prefer, but He knows what the best answer is. 

Family is everything. Families are eternal and I am so grateful for this knowledge and blessing. Because of this, I know I will see my mother again. I love my brother and sister and my dad. I love that they are my family and that this is the family I was meant to be a part of.

I am grateful for wonderful friends and extended family and how much love and support they showed us and are still showing us during this time. Friends are so special and know when to lift you up when you need it most.

Heavenly Father has his own time line that doesn't necessarily match up with ours. But I have the faith and continue to ask for the faith that He knows what is best for us to grow and progress.

I am so incredibly grateful for the testimony that I have for this gospel and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Without, even in the loneliest of times, I know I am not alone. And through the sacrifice of our Savior and His atonement, we can be with our loved ones again.

This is still a grieving process where I have my good days and my not so good days. But I know it will get easier. I know Heavenly Father is with me along with my mother and Savior.

Cancer is a very awful thing and makes it so hard to watch a loved one fight it to the end. But I don't believe my mother lost the battle. She fought hard and won over this earthly life. Death is not the end! I'm proud of her. She will forever be my hero.

All I Want for Christmas....

About 4 or 5 years ago, when Jon and I started our journey on IVF, one of the things I dreamed about the most was Christmas morning. The excitement in my children's eyes as they rushed down the stairs to see what Santa brought them. Making cookies and delivering neighbors gifts. Buying the perfect outfit for the Christmas Sacrament meeting. And so much more.

As each IVF failed, I saw my dreams slowly slip away. Since then, whenever Jon has asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said I just want a baby. By this time, we should have at least a 3 year old. But, Christmas morning is very lonely. We wake up, open our gifts, eat breakfast, relax, visit family, and then come back to a dark, lonely house. We don't have the joy of watching our children open the gifts they have been anxiously waiting for or hear their squeals of delight. I would even take listening to a little bit of arguing or whining because the doll or truck wasn't exactly what they wanted. So each year, we try to make our Christmas just a little bit more special for us.

This year as been a little bit more difficult with Jon out of a job, my mom battling breast cancer, and the same sad feeling of no children. I was at a point where I decided celebrating was trivial when compared to our hardships. I wasn't going to do a tree or decorate. I was just going to let the season go by. However, slowly I started getting into the Christmas spirit and realized I would be sad and disappointed if I didn't at least decorate.

One day, Jon and I were talking about the new video that was put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, titled, He Is The Gift. We had both watched it, separately, and had both been touched by the Spirit. We had been discussing our situation of not having children during the holidays or even the thought of a baby. Jon said something to me that I will never forget. He told me that we do have a baby on Christmas. The gift of that baby was from Heavenly Father and that baby who was given to us is our Savior, Jesus Christ. We have all been given that same gift. He reminded me that we are given this baby every single year on Christmas. It may not be the baby we had hoped for, but it is still a baby. It may not be one that we can hold and snuggle and care for, but we can still strive to make ourselves worthy of His love and blessings.

After that discussion, I have looked at Christmas in a completely different light. Christmas isn't about wrapped gifts under the tree, Christmas lights, stockings, neighbor gifts, edible goodies, etc. Christmas is about the gift of Christ and His love, sacrifice, and example. We have been given the most incredible gift and I hope to never take it for granted. Heavenly Father loved us enough to send His only Son. I don't believe that there are any gifts that can top that. What a blessing for us to remember. 

As Ebeneezer Scrooge said: "I will keep Christmas in my heart and throughout all the year."

Here is the link to this heartwarming video:

He Is The Gift

My Mother is Brave

Fellow readers....On September 4th, my mom told my siblings and I that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were in shock and had no idea where this was headed. The following days after, I prayed and pondered this diagnosis and had this feeling of peace that everything was going to be ok. Heavenly Father was going to take care of everything. What a blessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is!!

On October 13th, my mom has an appointment with UC Davis Cancer Center and met with a surgeon. That visit determined a mastectomy on October 29th, 6-8 weeks of healing, 4-6 months of chemotherapy afterwards, and a possible diagnosis of stage 2 or 3 breast cancer.

After this news, Jon and I both decided I needed to be with my parents for the surgery. I was able to get the time off of work without having to deal with applying for FMLA and I am very blessed to have wonderful in laws who helped me in obtaining a plain ticket.

I flew out to California on Sunday, October 26th the same day as my Primary Program. I was so happy and felt so blessed that I could be with my mom and dad during this time. 

On Monday, October 27th, my mom and I went to UC Davis to meet her surgeon for her Pre-Op appointment where she signed so many release forms that I worried they were going to ask for her first born!! They then discussed the surgery and what to expect after surgery and what she would need to do to help herself get better.

After we left, and we were on our way to lunch, she voiced how scared she was. I can't say that I blamed her. I think I would have been just as scared. I was scared for her!!! So we decided to spend the next few days just focusing on our time together and doing laundry anf grocery shopping.

Mom took me to a few of her favorite places to eat for breakfast and lunch, we did a bunch of shopping, and just enjoyed our time together. 

The night before surgery, her bishop, home teacher, and Relief Society president came over to visit and give her a blessing. My dad gave the most beautiful blessing of peace and calm. The spirit was definitely there. I spoke with her Relief Society president and expressed some of the things that my mom and dad could use help with.

Wednesday, October 29th, we left mom and dad's apartment about 4:45am to be at UC Davis around 5:30am. Surgery scheduled for 7:30am. After mom checked in, they took her back to get prepped for surgery and then brought dad and I back to see her off to surgery.

Surgery lasted for about 3 hours and around 11:30 or so we were able to go into the recovery room and see mom. The doctor talked to us before we went in and explained that he was able to remove the lump, that the lymphnodes showed signs of cancer, but that he was confident he was able to remove all of the cancer. Probably the greatest news we heard all day. He explained that with the cancer being in the lymophnodes, radiation was a possibility after the chemo.

I am not going to lie that being with mom while she was trying to come out of anesthesia was pretty entertaining. Dad and I got a pretty good laugh out of it. And still tease her about some of the things she said. She asked if I filmed it. I told her if she had been getting her wisdom teeth removed, I probably would have. But I didn't feel right about doing that with something this serious.

Mom sat in recovery for over 7 hours due to the fact they couldn't get her blood sugar under control. When they finally got it where they wanted it, they moved her to a room close to 8pm. It was a long day. She was ready to go to sleep and get some much needed rest. Dad and I headed home and immediately went to sleep.

The next day, Thursday, October 30th, dad went to work for a few hours and then in the afternoon went to visit mom. She seemed to be doing pretty good. She had some massagers on her legs to help the blood flow but she was still able to get up and walk around. The nurse showed us how to empty her drains from her incisions.

I'm not going to lie, this part was pretty gross but needed to be done. They had to be emptied about 2-3 times a day and we had to keep record of how much was coming out. After one time of doing this, I pretty much became a pro at it.

After visiting mom on Thursday, dad and I went to lunch and then went to a movie. My dad really likes war movies and they are not everyone's favorite. So I was more than happy to watch Fury with him. It was nice to have some "daddy and Sally time". 

Mom was able to come home on Friday, October 31st. We picked her up and she was more than happy to get home and sleep in her own bed. I was grateful that I was able to stay a few days after she came home. I have to say that she has some great nurses and doctors at UC Davis that took really good care of her. I am so grateful for that.

We got her into somewhat of a routine of emptying her drains, getting her showered, and making her comfortable.We spent Saturday just relaxing, visiting, and watching movies. (When dad wasn't watching BYU football or basketball)

On Sunday, November 2nd, it was time to go home. Leaving was extremely difficult. So much harder than I thought. I didn't like having to leave my mom in the state she was in. But I knew my dad and her ward was going to take really good care of her.

She received the pathology report this last week and was told only one lymphnode had cancer and that the cancer was stage 2 which is incredible news. However, she has to go in sometime in December for a CT Scan as her chest x-ray showed something on her left side. But we will worry about that then.

I am so incredibly proud of my mom. I can not even begin to imagine how terrified and strong she was at the same time. The moment she was diagnosed with cancer, she was determined to battle this head on and that is what she has done. And I know she will continue to fight no matter how hard it gets. She is a fighter and not a quitter. There are not enough adequate words to express how proud I am of my mom's bravery.

This experience has made me stronger in so many ways. It has also helped me reflect on the importance of family and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else is just.....trivial. I am so incredibly grateful for the peace and knowledge that I have knowing that no matter what happens in this life, Heavenly Father will take care of us and he will bless us with faith and understanding. I am grateful that I could share this experience with my parents short of going into the operating room. I will never forget this experience and hope that what we can be a support to others around us.

 Balloons from the apartment staff

Flowers from mom's cousin Gloria

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Recently, my mother, was diagnosed with Stage 2-3 breast cancer. This mean that the cancer has spread to her lymphnodes. She will be having surgery to have her lump removed and a possible double masectomy. The size of the lump will determine what stage of cancer she has. She will also be going through chemotherapy for 4 to 6 months. She will get sick, lose her hair, and probably have some really bad days.

I am worried for her and wish that I lived closer. I want to be able to be there for her during her surgery.

However, as I reflect on this situation, and even though I am scared, sad, upset, shocked, and feeling so many other emotions......I know that things will work out the way they are supposed to. My mom is strong and she as a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that she will be blessed and will be watched over. I know that the Lord gives us challenges and trials that are hard and difficult.....but I also know that he gives us the faith and strength and courage and fortitude to fight those challenges and trials. We are never alone and we have to remember that He will always be with us as long as we allow Him to be. What a wonderful knowledge to have!!