About 4 or 5 years ago, when Jon and I started our journey on IVF, one of the things I dreamed about the most was Christmas morning. The excitement in my children's eyes as they rushed down the stairs to see what Santa brought them. Making cookies and delivering neighbors gifts. Buying the perfect outfit for the Christmas Sacrament meeting. And so much more.
As each IVF failed, I saw my dreams slowly slip away. Since then, whenever Jon has asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said I just want a baby. By this time, we should have at least a 3 year old. But, Christmas morning is very lonely. We wake up, open our gifts, eat breakfast, relax, visit family, and then come back to a dark, lonely house. We don't have the joy of watching our children open the gifts they have been anxiously waiting for or hear their squeals of delight. I would even take listening to a little bit of arguing or whining because the doll or truck wasn't exactly what they wanted. So each year, we try to make our Christmas just a little bit more special for us.
This year as been a little bit more difficult with Jon out of a job, my mom battling breast cancer, and the same sad feeling of no children. I was at a point where I decided celebrating was trivial when compared to our hardships. I wasn't going to do a tree or decorate. I was just going to let the season go by. However, slowly I started getting into the Christmas spirit and realized I would be sad and disappointed if I didn't at least decorate.
One day, Jon and I were talking about the new video that was put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, titled, He Is The Gift. We had both watched it, separately, and had both been touched by the Spirit. We had been discussing our situation of not having children during the holidays or even the thought of a baby. Jon said something to me that I will never forget. He told me that we do have a baby on Christmas. The gift of that baby was from Heavenly Father and that baby who was given to us is our Savior, Jesus Christ. We have all been given that same gift. He reminded me that we are given this baby every single year on Christmas. It may not be the baby we had hoped for, but it is still a baby. It may not be one that we can hold and snuggle and care for, but we can still strive to make ourselves worthy of His love and blessings.
After that discussion, I have looked at Christmas in a completely different light. Christmas isn't about wrapped gifts under the tree, Christmas lights, stockings, neighbor gifts, edible goodies, etc. Christmas is about the gift of Christ and His love, sacrifice, and example. We have been given the most incredible gift and I hope to never take it for granted. Heavenly Father loved us enough to send His only Son. I don't believe that there are any gifts that can top that. What a blessing for us to remember.
As Ebeneezer Scrooge said: "I will keep Christmas in my heart and throughout all the year."
Here is the link to this heartwarming video:
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