Special Delivery

Today I got a special delivery from the UPS man. But it wasn't your typical, brown box. Instead, it was white, foam, refrigerated box. Like the one below.

Inside, were all of my IVF medications. The needles, syringe's, alcohol wipes, and bandages. I have to admit that I started getting a little woozy taking everything out due to my phobia of needles. So, I quickly just took everything out, made sure it was all there, and put it on the counter. Then I came back an opened up the boxes and looked at the needles and decided I wasn't going to do this. That decision lasted all of two seconds. I knew this was going to be worth it. I think I have looked at everything 5 times and I am starting to get a little braver. In fact, I wanted to start tonight. But I have to wait until Saturday. But it's interesting to go through.

Here was what was inside:

This is a drug called GANIRELIX (ga-ni-REL-ix). This is a releasing hormone. It's used to help regulate hormone response in the treatment of infertility.

This next drug is called GONAL-F. This medicine is a human follicle stimulating hormones used to treat infertility in women by stimulating ovaries to produce eggs. It's a follicle stimulating hormone. This is the one that has to be refrigerated.

Another drug I will be taking is called NOVAREL or human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). This is a hormone that supports the normal development of an egg in a womens ovary and stimulates the release of the egg during ovulation. The last drug is called CRINONE 8% Vaginal Gel or Progesterone. It's a hormone used to treat infertility due to progesterone deficiency. It helps to prepare the uterus for implantation and development of a fertilized egg.

Along with all this wonderful stuff, I received my own sharps container so we can dispose of the needles and syringes properly So now we have our own little pharmacy and clinic going on in our kitchen. It's pretty intersting. And the more I think about it and see all this modern medicine sitting on my table, the more excited I get about everything. Just two more days, and I can finallly get started.

Finally......JULY

So it is finally July and I have to be honest, it didn't start out that well. On Friday, I had a complete breakdown. I literally cried all day Friday and Saturday morning. We're getting down to the wire and I am very excited. But I think all the stress just had built up and needed to be released. Which is a good thing. I was also stressed because even though we were able to pay for our treatment, we were short on cash for medications. And to top it off, when I went to pay for the treatment, the total was $300 higher than the original total. I just looked at the billing lady and said, "Your joking, right?". Then I showed her the paperwork she gave us with a different total. We ran the numbers five times and kept getting the higher total. To say the least, I was a little frustrated. But I still paid the full amount because this is important to us and it is definitely worth it.

Then I went home and cried some more. When Jon got home, he pretty much told me, in his own nice way, to straighten up. He said that we have been going on faith this whole time and we needed to just keep having faith. And if this is meant to be, it would work out. I hate to admit it, but he was right. But it did take me a little while to feel better. I also pulled out my scriptures and read the story about Jesus feeding the five thousand with 2 fish and five loaves of bread and how everyone had enough to eat and were no long hungry. I thought if Christ was able to that, then we would find away to pay for my meds.

So Saturday morning, we went to breakfast with his parents, and then he and I went to a movie. We saw Knight And Day, which is pretty cute. We took Dixie to Murray park, had dinner with his parents and then hung out for the rest of night. Sunday we prayed and fasted that things would work out the way they were supposed too. We took Dixie to the park again and then watched a movie at home. I think Jon was trying to keep me busy. Monday, we took a truck full of stuff to Savers, went to breakfast, walked around Ikea, took a long nap, and met up with Jamie and RJ for dinner at JCW's. Afterwhich, Jon and RJ watched a dvd about Fractals (don't ask) and Jamie and I watched The Bachelorette.

This morning, I was determined to have a better attitude about everything. I was still really worried, but I decided whatever was going happen would happen.

A few weeks ago I had applied for a Compassionate Care Program that helps couples with the cost of their medications either by donation or what have you. I didn't think we would qualify but I thought it was worth a shot. They called me today and told me we wouldn't qualify...Shocker!!! But then they told me some good news....that our insurance will cover the medications with just a copay. My chin literally dropped to the ground. I didn't think insurance would cover the meds since they don't cover IVF. So I called my doctor, got a list of all the meds I would be taking, called the pharmacy department for my insurance, went over all the meds with them and found out, to my relief, that the meds would not cost as much as we originally thought. I truly feel blessed and know without a doubt, that this was an answer to our prayers.

June Needs to End NOW

So.....in about two weeks, we start IVF for real. On July 10th we have a class where we will learn about the meds that are injected. Jon will learn how to give them to me and I will learn how to be brave to get them. Some of you may already know that I have a phobia of needles. I hate them!!! I can't even have my blood drawn without laying down. When I had my sinus surgery, I hyperventilated when they gave me my IV. Anyway. Back to what I was talking about. I actually want to learn how to give myself the shots just in case Jon isn't around when I need one. Like when I go to Heather's to watch The Bachelorette. (ha ha)

At this class we'll also go over all the consent forms and sign them. It's very interesting to read through them. One the forms ask us what we want to do with leftover embryo's if something happens to one of us or if we get a divorve or if we both die. They have several options and we are still trying to figure out what we feel would be best.


Later that night, after the class, I will be starting the injections. I'm kind of glad that we have this class the same day I start injections otherwise I think I would have spent a whole month psyching myself out about them due to the previously metnioned phobia. I also have a an appointment on July 9th for bloodwork and and ultrasound. Another one of those lovely, vaginal, ultrasound's. But this is all definitely going to be worth it. I calculated from the time I start injections to the time I have the embryo transfer, it will be about a 4 week process. And then another 2 weeks after that to find out if it worked, which it will, because we are being positive.

So, as you can tell, I have alot to look forward too and I am more than ready to get started. I must warn most of you, though, that I will most likely be emotional, moody, and crying alot, so please bare with me. I'm going to be pretty crazy and highstrung and sensitive. I'll just have to keep telling myself that it's just the med's. But it is going to be so worth it. I can feel it! As I told one of my friends, I feel like a little kid at Christmas wondering if Christmas Eve and morning will ever arrive. So, I really want June to be done with. I am really looking forward to this new adventure and I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

Nothing Exciting

So I don't really have anything new to post right now. Today we went back to the doctor's to have some blood work done for infectious disease's. I'm sure we'll pass those with flying color's. Then we sat down with the billing department to get the grand total. This baby is going to be so worth it. One thing we did talk about with her was how many embryo's the doctor usually transfers. She said usually two, sometime's three, which is what our doctor and nurse had told us as well. We got to talking about how sometime's the embryos can split and you can get two fetus's from one. She told us that in this clinic, it is very common for twins. She said she has seen some triplets, but it's usually single babies or twins and it's pretty much half in half. We thought that was pretty interesting. I honestly didn't think twins was as common as some people thought. But I'd be happy with twins. Honestly, I'd be happy with whatever Heavenly Father decide;s to give me. However, I am secretly hoping for six so we can have our own reality show. 'Jon, Sally, and Dix + 6'.

Decided

So we have finally decided. We are starting our IVF in July and we are doing the Global Fresh Cycle IVF. We are so excited. But I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little bit nervous. This really feels surreal. We are both feeling very positive and confident that things will work out. However, we are adding a lot of faith and hope to that as well. And many prayers.

The doctor has put me on a hormone pill and birth control to induce at least two periods before my cycle. I have also started a prenatal vitamin as well. Can't say I like it too much, but it's what the doctor ordered.

I am scheduled to start injections on July 10th. That same day, we will take a class to learn how the injections work. I'm starting to become more brave about this. At first, it made me a little scared, but I know I can handle it. The day before I start injections, I'll have an ultrasound and a blood draw.

After I start the injections, I will go in for at least 4 more blood draws and 3 ultrasounds. The target date to retrieve the eggs is July 21st. And the target day to do the embryo transfer is July 26th. After which, I will be on bed rest, or at least taking it easy, for about a week. We won't know for another two weeks if the transfer took or not. We're hoping it will and are going on blind faith that we will be blessed.

So as you can tell, July is going to be a very busy month for us. It will most likely be very emotional and I'll probably turn into a crazy person. Although, I'm already pretty crazy so I'm not sure how much more crazy I can get. However, it will be very exciting and when all is said and done, it will be worth it.

We feel our time to have children is soon and we have been so patient, we have faith that Heavenly Father will answer our prayers.

Again, thanks to all of you who take time to read my blog and who are praying for us. We are so grateful for all the support we are receiving from our family and friends. It really means alot to us. We are truly blessed.

Getting Closer

O.kay....So had an appointment yesterday with our doctor and discussed Jon's test results. Unfortunately, Jon's little guys are stubborn so they need a little extra push. We are definitely doing IVF. There are three options that we are looking at.

The Global Single Fresh Cycle - It's about $13,ooo, excluding meds and anesthesia. They will also do ICSI, where they insert the sperm into the egg after retreival and before transfer. The con is that this is a one time shot and if it doesn't work and there are not enough eggs, we have to start all over. The pro is that if they get anough good eggs and the first cycle doesn't work, the second cycle is less expensive.

The IVF Mutiple Cycle - With this one you can pay up to 4 cycle's at a discounted rate. It's pretty much the same as the first one, your just paying a little bit more. And meds and additional procedure's are not included. We're not looking at this one as much

IVF Money Back Guarantee - This one is about $26,000 or more and you get to try over and over again if the first few time's don't work. If it doesn't work and your done trying or it works and you miscarry, you get your money back. This one is attractive because of the guarantee. However, you pay everything up front and if it works the first time, your out all that money. And if you do IVF again, you start from scratch.

Interesting, isn't it??? The price they can put on a child. But these procedure's are exspensive and they do everything they can to help you have a family. It's amazing how far technology has come.

Now, the question is when to start. I know that shouldn't be a question, but there are also alot of factor's that come into play. And also what we feel good about. Committments we have made, school schedule's, etc. However, we feel that in the last 10 years, we have never put ourselve's first and we need to start doing that. Especially starting a family. This is so important to us and we want to make the right decision.

We have to give our doctor and answer on Monday of when we want to start. We can start in July or September. And it's actually a quick process. 6 weeks!! It's a HUGE decision but one that will definitely be worth it.

We ar so grateful for all your prayers, thougts, and kind words as Jon and I are going down this road. It means the world to us.

1st and 10

I have been seeing this alot of any blogs. 1st and 10 where you got to your first picture folder and choose the 10th picture and blog about it. So here goes it....

This is my niece, Emily. She lives on the East Coast with her mom, dad, and little brother. She is eleven years old and was born 6 days after my birthday. Since she was born, she has lived on 4 continents and has learned 4 different culture's. She loves to read....ALOT. In fact, her and I like to read some of the same books. Harry Potter, Fablehaven, Anne of Green Gables, etc. She does very well in school and she LOVES going to school. She loves animals and has a pet rat. Or maybe it's a mouse. She also loves to draw and do different crafty things. When she is visiting all of us here in Utah, she loves to get together with her cousins and scrapbook. Another favorite thing to do is go to the Dollar Store with Aunt Sally and pick out 5 things. Last summer, when her family came to visit, we went to see the 6th Harry Potter movie.

Something that amazes me about this girl is that she likes to watch these movies and read the books and they can get pretty dark. She doesn't flinch at it. I'm not sure I would have been that brave at her age.

Pretty soon, her family will be moving again and enjoying another experience. She is a pretty special girl and I'm glad that she is a part of our family.