Cancer and The Gospel

It has been a little over a year since I have last posted and it has been a crazy year! I have traveled back to California numerous times to visit my mom an dad during my mom's cancer treatments. She had been doing well with treatment until August 2015 when another form of breast cancer was found despite chemo and radiation.

She underwent yet another surgery and started chemo again but at a much more aggressive approach due to the high risk of the 2nd cancer coming back.

I had the opportunity to visit with mom and dad over Thanksgiving 2015 before she started her next round of treatment. We had no idea how taxing this 2nd round would be on her body.

Two months later, our family's world changed forever......

On January 29th, my mother passed away peacefully after a week of being in the hospital due to her body going into septic shock. Her body fought hard, but she had decided she was ready to go. Ready to reunite with her mom and dad and her darling daughter Allison.

My father, siblings, and I had the chance to be with her in that last week, even though she was lucid for only a few days. We were able to talk to her, share stories of her grandson, sit with her, and witness tender moments between her and my father. 

A few days before she passed, we had the opportunity to have a family prayer where each of us said a prayer and thank and plead to Heavenly Father to grant his will and that we would be able to accept it.

She told us she loved us, hugged us as well as she could while hooked up to several monitors, and kept her sense of humor to the end.

The last few days, the Spirit was very strong. I think I knew it was her time yet still struggled, and still do, to accept it.

A night or two before she passed, her bishop came to visit and as he was looking at her, she looked to the side of him and kept staring. My first thought was that there was someone there in the room to see her. Who it was, I have no idea. But there was a visitor ready to take her.

We had a beautiful service for her in California where we had the most amazing support from family and friends. And come this summer, we will prepare to lay her in her final resting spot.

I still can't believe it has already been a month since my mom has graduated from this life and is now an angel watching over me. However, I have learned a lot over the last few weeks or so......

The gospel of Jesus Christ and His love for us is real. Heavenly Father hears our prayers and answers them. Maybe not in the way that we would prefer, but He knows what the best answer is. 

Family is everything. Families are eternal and I am so grateful for this knowledge and blessing. Because of this, I know I will see my mother again. I love my brother and sister and my dad. I love that they are my family and that this is the family I was meant to be a part of.

I am grateful for wonderful friends and extended family and how much love and support they showed us and are still showing us during this time. Friends are so special and know when to lift you up when you need it most.

Heavenly Father has his own time line that doesn't necessarily match up with ours. But I have the faith and continue to ask for the faith that He knows what is best for us to grow and progress.

I am so incredibly grateful for the testimony that I have for this gospel and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Without, even in the loneliest of times, I know I am not alone. And through the sacrifice of our Savior and His atonement, we can be with our loved ones again.

This is still a grieving process where I have my good days and my not so good days. But I know it will get easier. I know Heavenly Father is with me along with my mother and Savior.

Cancer is a very awful thing and makes it so hard to watch a loved one fight it to the end. But I don't believe my mother lost the battle. She fought hard and won over this earthly life. Death is not the end! I'm proud of her. She will forever be my hero.

My Mother is Brave

Fellow readers....On September 4th, my mom told my siblings and I that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were in shock and had no idea where this was headed. The following days after, I prayed and pondered this diagnosis and had this feeling of peace that everything was going to be ok. Heavenly Father was going to take care of everything. What a blessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is!!

On October 13th, my mom has an appointment with UC Davis Cancer Center and met with a surgeon. That visit determined a mastectomy on October 29th, 6-8 weeks of healing, 4-6 months of chemotherapy afterwards, and a possible diagnosis of stage 2 or 3 breast cancer.

After this news, Jon and I both decided I needed to be with my parents for the surgery. I was able to get the time off of work without having to deal with applying for FMLA and I am very blessed to have wonderful in laws who helped me in obtaining a plain ticket.

I flew out to California on Sunday, October 26th the same day as my Primary Program. I was so happy and felt so blessed that I could be with my mom and dad during this time. 

On Monday, October 27th, my mom and I went to UC Davis to meet her surgeon for her Pre-Op appointment where she signed so many release forms that I worried they were going to ask for her first born!! They then discussed the surgery and what to expect after surgery and what she would need to do to help herself get better.

After we left, and we were on our way to lunch, she voiced how scared she was. I can't say that I blamed her. I think I would have been just as scared. I was scared for her!!! So we decided to spend the next few days just focusing on our time together and doing laundry anf grocery shopping.

Mom took me to a few of her favorite places to eat for breakfast and lunch, we did a bunch of shopping, and just enjoyed our time together. 

The night before surgery, her bishop, home teacher, and Relief Society president came over to visit and give her a blessing. My dad gave the most beautiful blessing of peace and calm. The spirit was definitely there. I spoke with her Relief Society president and expressed some of the things that my mom and dad could use help with.

Wednesday, October 29th, we left mom and dad's apartment about 4:45am to be at UC Davis around 5:30am. Surgery scheduled for 7:30am. After mom checked in, they took her back to get prepped for surgery and then brought dad and I back to see her off to surgery.

Surgery lasted for about 3 hours and around 11:30 or so we were able to go into the recovery room and see mom. The doctor talked to us before we went in and explained that he was able to remove the lump, that the lymphnodes showed signs of cancer, but that he was confident he was able to remove all of the cancer. Probably the greatest news we heard all day. He explained that with the cancer being in the lymophnodes, radiation was a possibility after the chemo.

I am not going to lie that being with mom while she was trying to come out of anesthesia was pretty entertaining. Dad and I got a pretty good laugh out of it. And still tease her about some of the things she said. She asked if I filmed it. I told her if she had been getting her wisdom teeth removed, I probably would have. But I didn't feel right about doing that with something this serious.

Mom sat in recovery for over 7 hours due to the fact they couldn't get her blood sugar under control. When they finally got it where they wanted it, they moved her to a room close to 8pm. It was a long day. She was ready to go to sleep and get some much needed rest. Dad and I headed home and immediately went to sleep.

The next day, Thursday, October 30th, dad went to work for a few hours and then in the afternoon went to visit mom. She seemed to be doing pretty good. She had some massagers on her legs to help the blood flow but she was still able to get up and walk around. The nurse showed us how to empty her drains from her incisions.

I'm not going to lie, this part was pretty gross but needed to be done. They had to be emptied about 2-3 times a day and we had to keep record of how much was coming out. After one time of doing this, I pretty much became a pro at it.

After visiting mom on Thursday, dad and I went to lunch and then went to a movie. My dad really likes war movies and they are not everyone's favorite. So I was more than happy to watch Fury with him. It was nice to have some "daddy and Sally time". 

Mom was able to come home on Friday, October 31st. We picked her up and she was more than happy to get home and sleep in her own bed. I was grateful that I was able to stay a few days after she came home. I have to say that she has some great nurses and doctors at UC Davis that took really good care of her. I am so grateful for that.

We got her into somewhat of a routine of emptying her drains, getting her showered, and making her comfortable.We spent Saturday just relaxing, visiting, and watching movies. (When dad wasn't watching BYU football or basketball)

On Sunday, November 2nd, it was time to go home. Leaving was extremely difficult. So much harder than I thought. I didn't like having to leave my mom in the state she was in. But I knew my dad and her ward was going to take really good care of her.

She received the pathology report this last week and was told only one lymphnode had cancer and that the cancer was stage 2 which is incredible news. However, she has to go in sometime in December for a CT Scan as her chest x-ray showed something on her left side. But we will worry about that then.

I am so incredibly proud of my mom. I can not even begin to imagine how terrified and strong she was at the same time. The moment she was diagnosed with cancer, she was determined to battle this head on and that is what she has done. And I know she will continue to fight no matter how hard it gets. She is a fighter and not a quitter. There are not enough adequate words to express how proud I am of my mom's bravery.

This experience has made me stronger in so many ways. It has also helped me reflect on the importance of family and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else is just.....trivial. I am so incredibly grateful for the peace and knowledge that I have knowing that no matter what happens in this life, Heavenly Father will take care of us and he will bless us with faith and understanding. I am grateful that I could share this experience with my parents short of going into the operating room. I will never forget this experience and hope that what we can be a support to others around us.

 Balloons from the apartment staff

Flowers from mom's cousin Gloria

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Recently, my mother, was diagnosed with Stage 2-3 breast cancer. This mean that the cancer has spread to her lymphnodes. She will be having surgery to have her lump removed and a possible double masectomy. The size of the lump will determine what stage of cancer she has. She will also be going through chemotherapy for 4 to 6 months. She will get sick, lose her hair, and probably have some really bad days.

I am worried for her and wish that I lived closer. I want to be able to be there for her during her surgery.

However, as I reflect on this situation, and even though I am scared, sad, upset, shocked, and feeling so many other emotions......I know that things will work out the way they are supposed to. My mom is strong and she as a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that she will be blessed and will be watched over. I know that the Lord gives us challenges and trials that are hard and difficult.....but I also know that he gives us the faith and strength and courage and fortitude to fight those challenges and trials. We are never alone and we have to remember that He will always be with us as long as we allow Him to be. What a wonderful knowledge to have!!