Thoughts About My Mom

I have been really missing my mom a lot lately. But I have been trying to think of good and happy memories. And the more I thought about these, I wish I had remembered them at her funeral to kind of lighten the mood because she sure loved to make us laugh. Probably not on purpose, but she did a good job at it. So I thought I would share some of my memories on my blog........that I haven't updated in almost a year.

The summer after my senior year of high school, I worked at Jo-Ann's Fabrics in Crafts. And let me tell ya....this wasn't located in the best area when there was a Girls, Girls, Girls dance club near by. Anyway. Mom loved to craft and loved even more that I worked at a craft store so she could use my discount. She was on pretty good terms with most of the managers so she could shopping without me even being there. There was one time that she called me early in the morning, while I was still asleep, so she could get my SSN to use my discount. Now that's an addict right there!

One time, when we are all still in school, my dad took all of us on a business trip to Orlando. While he was in meetings, mom took us kids to Sea World. When we went to see Shamu, I convinced my mom that we needed to sit up front so we could see better. (Believe me.....I knew that this was the splash zone.) But she didn't. (Insert evil laugh.) Needless to say, we were all pretty soaked.

After an incident where my Grandma and I made my mom laugh so hard that she passed out, she told everyone that we couldn't make her laugh hard or she would pass out.

When mom had a cold, she couldn't use just a box of Kleenex. Oh no! She needed a whole roll of toilet paper.

When she would floss her teeth, she would need at LEAST a mile of dental floss.

Now Jon....was the only one who could really get my mom laughing. Laughing so hard that she would have an accident. On a road trip from Homestead to Key West, Brenda really had to use the restroom and my mom just kept driving and saying "We'll stop at the next key," until Brenda finally had to yell at her to stop. When mom went in to use the restroom, Jon ran up to the door, banged on it really loud, ran back to the car and told us to all act natural. Of course Brenda and I were cracking up. Mom came out and told us she didn't even have the chance to get her pants down. I'm pretty sure you can guess what happened!

Mom would call Ramen Noodles, Roman Noodles and Renee Zellweger, Renee (Reni) Zigler.

In Homestead, there is a power plant called Turkey Point. In Utah, we have a park/shopping area called Thanksgiving Point. She always called Thanksgiving Point, Turkey Point.

In New Jersey, the freeway is the called the Turnpike. She always called the freeway in Florida the New Jersey Turnpike.

When Blackberrys first came out, we went to the AT&T store to check out the price and thought about getting one for my dad. She walked in and asked "Can I see your Blueberries?" The sales person was so confused and told her she would have to go to Publix (local grocery store in Florida) to get blueberries. I explained that she meant a Blackberry.

Mom did not do amusement park rides. If we went to Disney World or Lagoon, she would just sit and wait for us while we did the rides. Although she would do the water rides. This one time at Lagoon, we convinced her to go on the Wild Mouse. I'm pretty sure the kids behind us learned a few new words to add to their vocabulary that day.

Mom had what we called platinum blonde hair. It was the Fenstermaker curse to get premature greys. Whenever she would go to the movies or the fair, she was always asked if she wanted the senior discount. She didn't think this was funny, but the rest of us got a good chuckle out of it. I told her she should just roll with it.

During a visit to California, I decided she was becoming her mother when she started watching Matlock at 1 in the afternoon. All I could think is "And so it starts."

After her first surgery, Dad and I were sitting with her in recovery and she was so loopy that I really wish I would have filmed it. My dad told her she was acting like a space cadet to which she replied that she didn't like space. She kept asking us if we were laughing at her and we told her we were laughing with her. She kept asking my dad if he loved her and he said he didn't know. So she asked him "When will you know?" She was pretty out of it and sarcastically told me that she was glad that she gave us so much entertainment.

Even at the end, she kept her sense of humor. I jokingly told Jon that women on the Fenstermaker line go out swearing. 

She mothered us up until the very end. But I am so glad that I still have some of these memories of her that make me laugh and smile.

My Mother is Brave

Fellow readers....On September 4th, my mom told my siblings and I that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were in shock and had no idea where this was headed. The following days after, I prayed and pondered this diagnosis and had this feeling of peace that everything was going to be ok. Heavenly Father was going to take care of everything. What a blessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is!!

On October 13th, my mom has an appointment with UC Davis Cancer Center and met with a surgeon. That visit determined a mastectomy on October 29th, 6-8 weeks of healing, 4-6 months of chemotherapy afterwards, and a possible diagnosis of stage 2 or 3 breast cancer.

After this news, Jon and I both decided I needed to be with my parents for the surgery. I was able to get the time off of work without having to deal with applying for FMLA and I am very blessed to have wonderful in laws who helped me in obtaining a plain ticket.

I flew out to California on Sunday, October 26th the same day as my Primary Program. I was so happy and felt so blessed that I could be with my mom and dad during this time. 

On Monday, October 27th, my mom and I went to UC Davis to meet her surgeon for her Pre-Op appointment where she signed so many release forms that I worried they were going to ask for her first born!! They then discussed the surgery and what to expect after surgery and what she would need to do to help herself get better.

After we left, and we were on our way to lunch, she voiced how scared she was. I can't say that I blamed her. I think I would have been just as scared. I was scared for her!!! So we decided to spend the next few days just focusing on our time together and doing laundry anf grocery shopping.

Mom took me to a few of her favorite places to eat for breakfast and lunch, we did a bunch of shopping, and just enjoyed our time together. 

The night before surgery, her bishop, home teacher, and Relief Society president came over to visit and give her a blessing. My dad gave the most beautiful blessing of peace and calm. The spirit was definitely there. I spoke with her Relief Society president and expressed some of the things that my mom and dad could use help with.

Wednesday, October 29th, we left mom and dad's apartment about 4:45am to be at UC Davis around 5:30am. Surgery scheduled for 7:30am. After mom checked in, they took her back to get prepped for surgery and then brought dad and I back to see her off to surgery.

Surgery lasted for about 3 hours and around 11:30 or so we were able to go into the recovery room and see mom. The doctor talked to us before we went in and explained that he was able to remove the lump, that the lymphnodes showed signs of cancer, but that he was confident he was able to remove all of the cancer. Probably the greatest news we heard all day. He explained that with the cancer being in the lymophnodes, radiation was a possibility after the chemo.

I am not going to lie that being with mom while she was trying to come out of anesthesia was pretty entertaining. Dad and I got a pretty good laugh out of it. And still tease her about some of the things she said. She asked if I filmed it. I told her if she had been getting her wisdom teeth removed, I probably would have. But I didn't feel right about doing that with something this serious.

Mom sat in recovery for over 7 hours due to the fact they couldn't get her blood sugar under control. When they finally got it where they wanted it, they moved her to a room close to 8pm. It was a long day. She was ready to go to sleep and get some much needed rest. Dad and I headed home and immediately went to sleep.

The next day, Thursday, October 30th, dad went to work for a few hours and then in the afternoon went to visit mom. She seemed to be doing pretty good. She had some massagers on her legs to help the blood flow but she was still able to get up and walk around. The nurse showed us how to empty her drains from her incisions.

I'm not going to lie, this part was pretty gross but needed to be done. They had to be emptied about 2-3 times a day and we had to keep record of how much was coming out. After one time of doing this, I pretty much became a pro at it.

After visiting mom on Thursday, dad and I went to lunch and then went to a movie. My dad really likes war movies and they are not everyone's favorite. So I was more than happy to watch Fury with him. It was nice to have some "daddy and Sally time". 

Mom was able to come home on Friday, October 31st. We picked her up and she was more than happy to get home and sleep in her own bed. I was grateful that I was able to stay a few days after she came home. I have to say that she has some great nurses and doctors at UC Davis that took really good care of her. I am so grateful for that.

We got her into somewhat of a routine of emptying her drains, getting her showered, and making her comfortable.We spent Saturday just relaxing, visiting, and watching movies. (When dad wasn't watching BYU football or basketball)

On Sunday, November 2nd, it was time to go home. Leaving was extremely difficult. So much harder than I thought. I didn't like having to leave my mom in the state she was in. But I knew my dad and her ward was going to take really good care of her.

She received the pathology report this last week and was told only one lymphnode had cancer and that the cancer was stage 2 which is incredible news. However, she has to go in sometime in December for a CT Scan as her chest x-ray showed something on her left side. But we will worry about that then.

I am so incredibly proud of my mom. I can not even begin to imagine how terrified and strong she was at the same time. The moment she was diagnosed with cancer, she was determined to battle this head on and that is what she has done. And I know she will continue to fight no matter how hard it gets. She is a fighter and not a quitter. There are not enough adequate words to express how proud I am of my mom's bravery.

This experience has made me stronger in so many ways. It has also helped me reflect on the importance of family and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else is just.....trivial. I am so incredibly grateful for the peace and knowledge that I have knowing that no matter what happens in this life, Heavenly Father will take care of us and he will bless us with faith and understanding. I am grateful that I could share this experience with my parents short of going into the operating room. I will never forget this experience and hope that what we can be a support to others around us.

 Balloons from the apartment staff

Flowers from mom's cousin Gloria